We have just arrived at our
Friendly, neighborhood Colonial Super Wal-Mart.
What is it you need for your Empire necessities today?
Gold is on aisle one, right next to slaves and after diamonds.
Silk is on aisle two with culture depreciation,
With the kiosk being trade on tropical islands.
Aisle four has oil, after the cigar holding wooden Indian.
Aisle five is split for action:
On the right hand is side arms and antiquities for the Rebellious,
The left has the latest technology for keeping Authority.
Aisle six has paper and writing supplies,
For all your propaganda, journalism and literary needs.
Oh, and don't forget to make a visit to Housewares.
We have kits to build your own Alliance System,
As well as the popular Munitions Factory.
For those of you who have a Colonial Wal-Mart Credit Card,
aisle eight is for you.
This is where you can find all your exploited advances.
Don't forget to check your Sunday Papers for coupons and
announcements for soon-to-come merchandise.
Some of the most anticipated are World War: An International
Game of Conquest,
Stock Market Crash Building Blocks,
And Depression (a new scent by Coolidge).
And as always, come again to Colonial Super Wal-Mart,
Where, Apartheid, NAFTA, and EU were started
All for your convenience.